remember to relax, talking to human beans irl isn’t that hard reader..
TL;DR google it and get there somehow, giving up and moving on to other goals in life if there is none near you
google/ddg/startpage/whatever you kids use these days you know back in my day we, anyway just find a kfc near you, use your goggle maps to get there, i doubt anyone on steam actually knows how to drive so you’ll be forced to walk(requires occassional staring at people better than you in cars) or taking public transportation(will require minimal hi with bus driver, far more if you do some stupid ♥♥♥♥ like try to carjack) Alternativly be a tryhard and skateboard there
once you arrive within 5000 miles of a kfc, proceed to next step
entering the building + in line
WARNING: POTENTIONAL FOR HUMAN INTERACTION
if someone is at the door just standing there, ignore them and proceed to enter. If they’re blocking your way and appear to be a police, inform them that you are a soverign citizen who refuses to allow “the law enforcement” from recieving your kfc.
If someone appears to be holding a door open for you, assert dominance and refuse to enter until they leave. Do not ever bend knee and accept their “assistance”. NEVER EVER say thank you. This admits that you required them and are incapable.
if someone is behind you or you reach the door before the person inside does, do 1 of to things depending on your sexuality:
if they’re attractive to you, hold it open and say “heh, nice threads bro”
if they’re unattractive to you, hold it open and say “heh, nice threads bro”. We don’t talk badd about people just because of their appearance, that is a stupid thing to do.
MAYBE OPTIONAL: LINES
if nobody is waiting, skip to next step. If someone appears to be waiting immidietly approach them and say the following depending on your sexual tastes.
if you like them: “mmm. you can cut infront of me anytime baby”
if you don’t like them: “bro i was here you wanna go bro” after that do a street fight and win.
Either way, next up comes the human interaction part we’ve all been waiting for……………………….
FEMALE CASHIER, VERY HOT: HOW TO APPROACH
UGLY GIRL/DUDE CASHIER
Since you didn’t actualy cut in line like the ♥♥♥♥ you are, you waited for about 2 mins before you could walk to the cashier and bumble over your order like so
then you stare at the menu
“i’ll have a smokey mountain bbq sandwich”(god tier taste, high culture, gets laid, probably rich and cool)
“i’ll have (random side dish and a drink)(kinda dumb, chill guy, always dependable,)
“i’ll have some(generic ♥♥♥ bucket of chicken)(basic ♥♥♥♥♥)
Alternativly you whip out your gun and say gimme all your money fool, then realize you won’t do that since you’re a obedient slave to the state like a good citizen, bet you enjoy getting ♥♥♥♥♥ everyday by the government huh ♥♥♥♥?
Irregardless, you somehow managed to place a god damn order after around 20 seconds. proceed to next step
1. Set keyboard layout with loadmap, available key layouts are in ls /usr/share/kbd/keymaps/**/*.map.gz
2. Getting internet is a ♥♥♥♥♥ if you’re on wifi, good luck with that lmao, ethernet/usb ethernet auto connects otherwise
3. Set clock correctly with timedatectl set-ntp true
4. Disk partitioning, won’t be going over it due to conflicting opinions regarding the modern use of swap space.
5. Format the partitions as applicable, i.e mkfs.ext4 /dev/sda1
6. mount partitions as applicable i.e mount /dev/sda1 /mnt
7. Select mirrors in /etc/pacman.d/mirrorlist, removing ones not near you.
8. pacstrap /mnt base
9. genfstab -U /mnt >> /mnt/etc/fstab
10. ln -sf /usr/share/zoneinfo/YourRegion/YourCity /etc/localtime
11. hwclock –systohc
12. edit /etc/locale.conf as applicable i.e LANG=en_US.UTF-8
13.(optional) add keyboard layout from #1 in /etc/vconsole.conf i.e KEYMAP=de-latin1
14. Create hostname file /etc/hostname YourHostName
15. Add matching files to /etc/hosts as follows:
127.0.1.1 YourHostName.localdomain YourHostName
16. set root password with passwd
17. Install the best EFI bootloader, EFISTUB which can enable no bootloader and just the kernel directly.
18. Done, reboot without installation media
You’re a freeman now, both on your computer and outside the KFC. Roam free and do as you please.
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