Are the food prices becoming overwhelming? Does the daily grind bore you? Do the goddesses frown to your favor? If this is true for you, fear not! This guide will help you turn your life around, and get you off of that filthy planet.
Before We Begin
- Don’t neglect the lottoshrines!
- Don’t burn fetishes/candles/lucky tokens!
- Ignore miscellaneous item descriptions, adventuring isn’t a part of the game.
- Always have a map ready.
- If a redscarf speaks to you, don’t answer them, just click ‘esc.’ If you answer they’ll eat your money.
- 99% of strangers/shopkeepers have nothing interesting to say, and if they do it’s part of a quest and unavoidable anyways.
- 5 second rule applies!
- After a certain time of day your incinerator runs out of battery, so incinerate as much as possible as quickly as possible before night, then you can get to other business!
- When your incinerator runs out of battery, don’t stop there! Fill your inventory with junk so you can incinerate it first thing next morning.
- Don’t bother holding onto items to sell unless it’s a bolt of cloth, it won’t be worth the wasted time.
- Buy cheap food! Check food kiosks and vendors, choose the cheapest (safe) meals.
- If you’re brave (or crazy) enough, go gender-sober! Don’t buy any genders from the kiosks and suffer the consequences for as long as it takes.
- Don’t stress about your luck, seriously. Don’t even check it. If you follow the rest of these steps, you’ll be fine.
- Don’t bother with lucky amulets or Beb’s tears, or any item of the sort if you don’t plan on leaving it at a shrine, it’ll just be a waste of time and money in the long run.
- Pray to the goddesses every day, but don’t pray to any individual more than once.
- Leave candles and fetishes of the gods at their respective shrine.
- Leave lucky tokens in their respective places (Blue – Near water | Green – On grass/near trees | Red – In or near your humble abode)
- Don’t incinerate fetishes
- Don’t stress about forgetting to pray to some gods daily, I rarely pray to more than 3/4 of them from day-to-day.
- Don’t step on the green spiral the green arrows lead you to, it’s bad luck.
- Rub your face on the giant blade near the eye salesman.
- Don’t pick up cursed items.
- Eat the lucky purple wafers that can be found for sale by some vendors or randomly on the ground.
- Find a cursed item, and keep picking it up and dropping it repeatedly while your luck plummets.
- Sit around while your cursed skull screams at you.
- Avoid the goddesses’ shrines.
- Food Items
- Gender Tokens
- Mega Batteries (5) (Sell excess Mega Batteries)
- Mythical Spellswatches (1) (Sell excess Mythical Spellswatches)
- Piles of Dirt (5) (Sell 5 Piles of Dirt, incinerate all afterwards)
- Tokens of Luck
- Bolts of Cloth
- Mega Batteries (But always keep 5)
- Mythic Spellswatches (But always keep 1)
- Piles of Dirt (But only sell 5)
Obtaining Tablet Pieces
For this piece you’ll need to gather every fetish of the nine goddesses, and then speak to a particular devotee located in the red district near the spaceport.
The goddesses’ fetishes can be found being sold by various vendors or randomly on the ground. Most fetishes are sold in the yellow district near your home alongside various other religious items such as candles and luck tokens, aside from Delvine who can be found very, very frequently being sold in the red district. This is not to say, of course, that fetishes aren’t sold outside of the yellow district, so explore frequently to find them all!
Once you have all 9 fetishes, store them in your chest at home. Then, speak to the particular devotee in the red quarter. Meet her at midnight at the agreed meeting spot, and go get that tablet piece!
For this piece you must get a considerably disgusting book to a considerably disgusting fellow found in the red district.
The book in question is the “Gardeners of the Galaxy” book that mentions a slime world in the description. It can be found up for sale in the smut shop just outside your home in the yellow district. Bring it to the considerably disgusting fellow and he’ll give you the second tablet piece in return.
For this piece you must brave the dungeon and the mysterious Specter who guards it.
Before you can enter the dungeon you must buy and eat an eye of Beb from the eye salesman, then head to an entrance and hop on in (but be wary- eating more than one will make you very, very loopy). Then you must locate the room that has a slimy green floor and walk through it, at the end is the tablet piece you need.
Shortly after wading through the room you will be notified in the top-left of your screen that “You are being hunted.” If you wait too long in the green sludge, music will play, and then your screen will blur and distort, and then a mysterious figure only known as the Specter will appear, and your screen will be blotted out by the image of it. Shortly after you will appear outside the dungeon entrance you entered and vomit. So it’s important that you get through quickly, but don’t worry, there’s enough time for you to get across without hugging any walls or anything. The room will look like a maze, but in fact all paths lead to the tablet, so don’t stress over directions, just take the closest route. Once you reach the end, grab the tablet piece and make your way back. It doesn’t matter if you get caught by the Specter on your way back, but it’s a lot less terrifying to not get caught.
After you obtain all 3 pieces of the tablet, bring them to Dungeon Sage Orloqq in the purple district. There he will tell you to give it to an adventurer on a quest.
The 3 adventurers available to send on a quest can be found in the red district near the spaceport. One will require 1 mythic spellswatch, one will require 5 mega batteries, and the other will require 600MC.
**Here’s a wonderful map guide by Uro!**
- Don’t worry about memorizing your way around! The map is a wrap-around and the constant market stalls and few defining landmarks make it very difficult to remember. By the time I was able to go without a map I had already completed my curse tablet!
- The arrows on the ground will be your best friend.
- The yellow arrows lead you to the yellow district (Portside Shantytown) where many religious items are sold and your home can be found. Here you can also find the shrines of Sprense, Beb, and Onas, as well as the NPC “Dirt Creature.”
- The blue arrows lead you to the blue district (Old City Center) where many miscellaneous items are sold and the bank can be found. Here you can also find the shrines of Lauster and Thedelule, as well as the NPC “gNornno qReyd.”
- The red arrows lead you to the red district (Adventurer’s Loot Market) where many weapons and armour are sold and the outfitter’s emporium can be found. Here you can also find the shrines of Delvine and Aggra Mona, as well as the NPCs “Vyorba Toxxx,” “Shifty Sallamot,” and “Heather.”
- The green arrows lead you to the green district (Riverwalk) where many things are sold and the spaceport can be found. Here you can also find the shrine of Havalana and the NPC “Necresse Rhiande.”
- The purple arrows lead you to the purple district (Covered Market) where many magical items are sold and the giant blade of xevereen can be found. Here you can also find the shrine of Vala, as well as the NPC “Dungeon Sage Orloqq.”
- If you can’t find the color arrow you want, follow other colors until you find the right one.
- Alaensee Glitterbread
- Alaensee Imp Roll
- Boiled Hoda-kren
- Cherrose Buds
- Cloned Danckon Juice
- Danckon Jam
- Dried Impfruit Jerky
- Ea##ndrian Hangberries
- [email protected] Shardbread
- Flamed Necrodonta Rack
- Grilled Darmarad Sand-skitterer
- Jellyslug Droppings
- Nnnawi Oathbread
- Nutrient Chalk
- Nzenqrexen Clotcake
- Nzenqrexen Sugarsweat Bun
- Oba Ribs
- Ocua Fruit
- Onas’ Gascap
- Peelpod Jelly
- Purple Luck Wafer
- River Weevils
- Sanscervine Bloomseeds
- Satchel of ash-cured Bodron-berries
- Skropbt Fruits
- Skropbt Reserves
- Slice of Cherrose Cake
- Spaceport Gyro
- Starshark Flesh
- Street-fried Egg
- Street Meat
- Tin of Horkfruit Sauce
- Venatiin Slimebread
- Xenome-D Head Kebab
- Xxareenn Clayworms
- Infested Fruit
- Portroach Corpse
- Rotten Egg
- Spoiled Food
- Puddle of Mossmeal
Written by Luna Tenebris-Flos