I Love You, Colonel Sanders!: 18+ Patch Guide

Human interaction: 0 to 3/10
Difficulty: 5
Speed: 0(slowest)
TL;DR google it and get there somehow, giving up and moving on to other goals in life if there is none near you
long version:
google/ddg/startpage/whatever you kids use these days you know back in my day we, anyway just find a kfc near you, use your goggle maps to get there, i doubt anyone on steam actually knows how to drive so you’ll be forced to walk(requires occassional staring at people better than you in cars) or taking public transportation(will require minimal hi with bus driver, far more if you do some stupid ♥♥♥♥ like try to carjack) Alternativly be a tryhard and skateboard there
once you arrive within 5000 miles of a kfc, proceed to next step

once you are within 5k miles(suck it non-moonlanders) of a kfc, locate a door, if you can’t do this i have no idea how you managed to exit your mom’s basement,
WARNING: POTENTIONAL FOR HUMAN INTERACTION
if someone is at the door just standing there, ignore them and proceed to enter. If they’re blocking your way and appear to be a police, inform them that you are a soverign citizen who refuses to allow “the law enforcement” from recieving your kfc.
If someone appears to be holding a door open for you, assert dominance and refuse to enter until they leave. Do not ever bend knee and accept their “assistance”. NEVER EVER say thank you. This admits that you required them and are incapable.
if someone is behind you or you reach the door before the person inside does, do 1 of to things depending on your sexuality:
if they’re attractive to you, hold it open and say “heh, nice threads bro”
if they’re unattractive to you, hold it open and say “heh, nice threads bro”. We don’t talk badd about people just because of their appearance, that is a stupid thing to do.
MAYBE OPTIONAL: LINES
if nobody is waiting, skip to next step. If someone appears to be waiting immidietly approach them and say the following depending on your sexual tastes.
if you like them: “mmm. you can cut infront of me anytime baby”
if you don’t like them: “bro i was here you wanna go bro” after that do a street fight and win.
Either way, next up comes the human interaction part we’ve all been waiting for……………………….

You notice something, in the unnatural light of KFC among the greasy smell, lies an angel at the cashier, being so nice to the customers and taking it from karen like a good ♥♥♥♥♥ mmm yeah, wish i was karen right now…. Either way, you’ve decided to change objectives and instead focus on getting laid tonight instead of actually ordering. There is a tried and true method pioneered by none other than the boston runner himself, that 1 guy you kinda knew who was at the horrible Boston Marathon Bombing of 2013. Since he met his wife by saving her life at the marathon, you need to false flag a terrorist attack as an anarcho-statist. Once you blow up the kfc, you’re not escaping justice and will instead be remembered as the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ who took Andrew’s and Sarah’s son’s life like a piece of ♥♥♥♥ go ♥♥♥♥ yourself. You will not die by the state though, as a vigilante who’s older brother was killed in the bombing knew you beforehand and will rip out your fingernails before stabbing your eyeballs with a small wooden stick. What he does after that is beyond our guide.

TL;DR place an order without bumbling over it like a ♥♥♥♥♥♥
long version:
Since you didn’t actualy cut in line like the ♥♥♥♥ you are, you waited for about 2 mins before you could walk to the cashier and bumble over your order like so
“uhh”
then you stare at the menu
“i’ll have a smokey mountain bbq sandwich”(god tier taste, high culture, gets laid, probably rich and cool)
“i’ll have (random side dish and a drink)(kinda dumb, chill guy, always dependable,)
“i’ll have some(generic ♥♥♥ bucket of chicken)(basic ♥♥♥♥♥)

Alternativly you whip out your gun and say gimme all your money fool, then realize you won’t do that since you’re a obedient slave to the state like a good citizen, bet you enjoy getting ♥♥♥♥♥ everyday by the government huh ♥♥♥♥?

Irregardless, you somehow managed to place a god damn order after around 20 seconds. proceed to next step

honestly haven’t been to a kfc in along time idk how this went, so instead i’ll be discussing how to install Arch Linux on your PC(does not include creating usb)
1. Set keyboard layout with loadmap, available key layouts are in ls /usr/share/kbd/keymaps/**/*.map.gz
2. Getting internet is a ♥♥♥♥♥ if you’re on wifi, good luck with that lmao, ethernet/usb ethernet auto connects otherwise
3. Set clock correctly with timedatectl set-ntp true
4. Disk partitioning, won’t be going over it due to conflicting opinions regarding the modern use of swap space.
5. Format the partitions as applicable, i.e mkfs.ext4 /dev/sda1
6. mount partitions as applicable i.e mount /dev/sda1 /mnt
7. Select mirrors in /etc/pacman.d/mirrorlist, removing ones not near you.
8. pacstrap /mnt base
9. genfstab -U /mnt >> /mnt/etc/fstab
10. ln -sf /usr/share/zoneinfo/YourRegion/YourCity /etc/localtime
11. hwclock –systohc
12. edit /etc/locale.conf as applicable i.e LANG=en_US.UTF-8
13.(optional) add keyboard layout from #1 in /etc/vconsole.conf i.e KEYMAP=de-latin1
14. Create hostname file /etc/hostname YourHostName
15. Add matching files to /etc/hosts as follows:
127.0.0.1 localhost
::1 localhost
127.0.1.1 YourHostName.localdomain YourHostName
16. set root password with passwd
17. Install the best EFI bootloader, EFISTUB which can enable no bootloader and just the kernel directly.
18. Done, reboot without installation media

Wow, you did it. You managed to install arch linux, and successfully communicate your order to a human bean. Pat yourself on the back and walk out like a chad with your head up high and jumping through the windows. This breaks the windows and symbolizes your newfound appreciation for customization available to you in Linux.
You’re a freeman now, both on your computer and outside the KFC. Roam free and do as you please.